Thursday, November 13, 2014

Romancing the Gnome

Christmas approacheth again, damn it. I was one of those idiots who did it in the spring and produced a child right before Christmas, so I also have to contend with a birthday at the same time as wondering why I ever thought making the children believe in Santa was a good idea. The kids know we don't have a lot of cash on hand, so they figure they'll just ask us for one small thing and Santa will take care of the rest.

Every time we talk about Christmas, my husband says, "Hey, you should do a Christmas sale!" And I say, "A Christmas sale of what?" And he says, "Your book," and I go, "Oh, yeah," because yes I do forget about it sometimes.

But, first let me tell you that I have signed up for NaNoWriMo, which, for those of you that don't know, is National Novel Writing Month. Each year, people pledge to write a 50,000 first draft of a novel during the month of November. You need to average about 1700 words a day to finish by November 30.

I mentioned in my last post that I had been wanting to write something as a sort of practice novel, but my year plus of ennui has gotten in the way. And so many of you responded with OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE WRITE THAT I WILL BUY SO MANY COPIES. If you ever think that commenting on some rando's blog just goes out into the ether and disappears, I am here to tell you you are wrong. Every single comment and email I got meant the world to me, and I read each one over and over. A friend mentioned NaNoWriMo a few days later and I decided to take the plunge and announce it on Facebook, so I'd have some chance of actually doing it. I like deadlines and obligations—I'm weird that way.

I spent the next few days with a notebook and pen, sketching out the details of the plot. After about 15 handwritten pages, I decided to just dive in, even though November hadn't officially started yet I wrote 5000 words by October 31, and I'm already over 15,000 words in as of today. There is indeed a hot fireman, some evil quilters, a garden gnome, a possibly demonic cat, and a lovable quilt pattern/fabric designer with a smart mouth and an intermittent ability to make things move with her mind. The process has already been utterly fascinating, and I can certainly see where I have PLENTY of room for improvement, but there have been moments where I actually made myself laugh, and that's always a good thing. It's a wonderful feeling to go back over something and realize you actually wrote the words, "Who the fuck do you think you are, coming over here and talking shit about my garden gnome?" and know that, though there are many other flaws, at least that one line is just right.

So, thank you. You kicked my butt hard. And I liked it. Do it again.

And just for you, because I love you, I am putting signed copies of my book on sale for the month of November. They won't be on sale at this price anywhere else - just here, because this is for you. (I realize it's not much, but, hey, it's all I have to work with.) Until November 30, signed copies of Quilting Isn't Funny are only $10.00 plus $3.00 media mail shipping ($12 for international - see below). The only caveat is they will not be shipped until after Thanksgiving, so keep that in mind if you order. Also I apologize in advance for how may times I will mention this sale, but that is what you gotta do when you are marketing your own stuff.

SALE OVER - THANK YOU!! Books go out this week!
International buyers, please go to my shop page to purchase. Thank you!!

And just so you know, if there is enough begging—and the begging is of high enough quality—I might share some longer tidbits from the work in progress.